Honestly, who among us has never crafted a resolution, whether it’s on paper or in your head, whether it's a laundry list of to-do’s or a generic wish for something new? The New Year is like a new dealer. No one cares how you played your previous hands. The bad decisions, the wasted time, the careless purchases are all things of the past. For me, January 1 offers not only a new calendar, but a clean slate. And, can’t we all benefit from a clean slate?
Remember the good ole days when our resolutions were all about ME, contemplated with renewed energy? You know, the ones that kicked us in the butt, that revitalized our existence, that exorcised our demons (at least for the first week of the New Year). When I look back on my BC (before children) resolutions, I want to slap myself silly. Those resolutions were baby foodcompared to the steak and potato</em> ones I intend to invoke in 2011. Sure, I can renew the consistent>top 10 ones, like lose weight, which goes hand-in-hand with exercise more, or resolve to become more organized, or undertake to learn something new, or perhaps even volunteer more often. BUT, that was SOOOO then. This is >not your mother’s resolutions anymore!
My approach towards this New Year could be viewed as either genius or as a total cop-out. I obviously favor the former. I figured it was the one time in the year when I could say to my kids, with real conviction, “starting January 1, there’s a new sheriff in town”, or, “you can do it now, but once the New Year arrives, things are going to be different.” And, a more recent favorite, “get it out of your system now, because once the New Year begins, that ends.” Obviously, those same words in July would carry no meaning, and certainly no recollection by my children. I’m not even sure of the recall value of any of my threats an hour after they are given, but my thought here was if you threaten enough times over the course of a few weeks, then they can’t come as a surprise when they are finally invoked, can they? Since Thanksgiving, I laid the groundwork, over and over and over again. “Sure, you can do it now, but just remember, come January 1, that ends.” I said it so many times through the holiday season, that it became a conditioned response to any of their requests. But all that “genius” aside, it allowed me a month’s “free pass”. A month off from yelling about too much time spent on the game stations, or watching too much television, or not spending enough time doing homework. A month off from reprimanding them for failing to be more organized, or for falling behind with schoolwork. A month off from demanding family hour at the dinner table. They got a month to indulge, because come January 1, things were going to be different…….
…… it’s the “cleaning of the slate”…
Resolution #1 - Sit-down family dinners 3 times a week.
When did we lose the ability to communicate, to share our day with each other? Didn't something happen within the past 12 hours that is worth sharing? Make something up if you have to! Concentrate on “family time” (meaning, everyone at the same table at the same time, with NO television). Just an aside, is it possible that we all eat the same meal? Ok, ok. Forget 3, let’s just go for 1 (every two weeks!). Why set myself up for failure on the first week!
Resolution #2 – 1 hour of homework without “commercial breaks”.
I can already feel my anxiety level rising just mentioning “homework”. I am convinced that “homework” can destroy a family. Homework, in our house, is a lot like a snow storm. We’ve been alerted to its impending occurrence. Sand trucks have been dispatched and even the news has warned drivers to stay off the roads, but when it finally arrives, we’re totally unprepared. When I announce that it’s time for homework, and this is after several warnings, I inevitably get the “deer in the headlights” look. It gets even better when they can’t find the assignment, and then proceed to spend 15 minutes going through their notebook when we all know what a futile exercise that is. I’m not sure if I’m more incensed by their obvious irresponsibility for the loss of their assignment, or just bewildered by the fact that I am being blamed for it. This is a typical homework session and we haven’t even gotten to the real work yet.... A storms a-brewing…
Never in my life have I witnessed such immediate onset of endless hunger, or the frequency in which my kids need to pee, or the rapid development of unjustified body aches as I do when homework time is announced. It’s as if on cue, they become ravenous, irritable, achy, and distracted. That’s just during the first 5 minutes. Did I also mention demanding, obstinate, and challenging? And yet, they’re dumbstruck by the fact that I would choose to be hidden away in any other room than to sit with them. Honestly, I can assure them that I feel their pain (and mine) in every room of the house during homework. I’m more concerned that they may feel mine if we remain in the same room. The only time I can recall them enthusiastic about a homework assignment was when they were given the option to do their spelling words with shaving cream. Only a 24 year old teacher could have conjured up that option. By the time we have responded to every conceivable bodily demand, and, have finally located our assignments, and, have possibly completed some, we have no doubt spent the better part of the afternoon and evening hours.
And to think that I would suggest that they do more than the minimum that the teacher has requested on any particular assignment, is an absolute outrage. When an assignment calls for 2-4 paragraphs or 6-10 sentences or even 3-6 examples, is it so debilitating to do ONE MORE than the minimum? “Mom, there is nooo reason to do more. Why are you making me? If she wanted us to do more, she would have said so” (always with that whiney, nails-on-the blackboard, pain-staking, near tears, pitch in their voice). Where is the EFFORT, people? Where is the DESIRE to excel? I’ll tell you where…. At Game Stop. At Sports Authority. At the card store.
Am I the only one who has to instill upon my kids to actually READ (don’t skim) the ENTIRE assignment AND answer EXACTLY what the problem is asking. If your teacher is asking for 2 examples, then, “NO”, 1 is not enough. If their response requires complete sentence structure, should I need to remind them that they can’t begin the answer with “because”? If nothing else, I can only hope that they at least begin the sentence with a capital letter and end it with a punctuation mark. If the problem requires them to show their work, isn’t it obvious that they need to SHOW THEIR WORK? At least PRETEND to strive for full credit on homework assignments, especially when points matter. And, if nothing else, make sure the writing is legible for the teacher to review. Do they think it’s a skill to be able to bunch up their work in the margins with such miniscule lettering? Don’t they know that the paper has a whole other side? Why do I need to remind them that it’s not enough that they know what they wrote (I’m not even convinced of that), but how do they expect their teachers to determine their understanding if they can’t read what’s written??? And, just to add insult to injury, would it be so terrible to suggest that they complete an assignment before it’s actually do? What in heaven’s name was I thinking??? Is it any wonder that during an entire homework session, I just find myself constantly shaking my head from side to side in utter disbelief.
Please tell me I’m not flying solo. And, speaking of “flying”, is it just my child that believes he’s in a “time trial” when it comes to homework? It’s just not possible to read three chapters of a novel in less than 5 minutes and claim that you comprehend the storyline. I don’t care if it’s triple-spaced with 5 words on each page. Or, claim that in 5 minutes you have studied for your Assessment Exam and understand everything, especially in light of the fact that just yesterday you didn’t understand ANYTHING. Or, how about, “Mom, I just don’t understand how to do the assignment. Can you please just email the teacher?” Oh sure. And tell her what? That my son has determined that if homework can’t be completed within a commercial break, then she has assigned too much. Or, how dare she give homework on a night when Maryland Basketball is playing Duke! Or, that my son was not paying attention in class when the instruction was given.
And is it really asking too much to at least initiate homework with a sharpened pencil that has a “working” eraser? Do they not understand that no matter how hard or how often they attempt to erase a mistake, if the eraser is no longer visible above the metal casing, the paper will eventually tear? Perhaps they didn’t recognize the sequence of events on their first effort, but don’t you think it would occur to them that the same result would take place on any subsequent effort? And truly, at what point in time do you think they realize that if they just took a minute to sharpen the pencil, they wouldn’t have to press down so hard to get to the lead?
And, the meltdowns that soon follow….like clockwork….It’s no wonder my husband chooses to work late.
And, it’s no wonder that I have spent a great deal of time considering a resolution that offers the greatest opportunity of success, or at least one that offers the least chance of resistance. Who am I kidding? There isn't one. My kids offer more resistance than my work-out bands. Short of clicking my heels three times and wishing upon every conceivable star in our solar system, I can only cross my fingers when I institute 1 hour of uninterrupted REAL homework time, whether the workload demands it or not. Sixty consecutive minutes. That’s all I’m asking, with no televisions breaks, no food breaks, no bathroom breaks, NO BREAKS!). Sixty minutes - plenty of time to read the assignment, show the work, and give complete answers. Maybe even a little time left to review their work. I'm pushing it. They even get to choose the hour. They know how much time they can spend on each assignment. They can keep track of how much time is remaining. They can schedule their hour to eliminate any distractions of an upcoming television show, or any worries of a missed event. They can control the mood of homework time. (I'm not quite sure I've thought this through enough.)
By the way, the clock begins ONLY when the homework is located….
Resolution #3 - When resolutions 1 and 2 fail, go back to “exercise more often”. It’s so much easier…..
Remember the good ole days when our resolutions were all about ME, contemplated with renewed energy? You know, the ones that kicked us in the butt, that revitalized our existence, that exorcised our demons (at least for the first week of the New Year). When I look back on my BC (before children) resolutions, I want to slap myself silly. Those resolutions were baby foodcompared to the steak and potato</em> ones I intend to invoke in 2011. Sure, I can renew the consistent
My approach towards this New Year could be viewed as either genius or as a total cop-out. I obviously favor the former. I figured it was the one time in the year when I could say to my kids, with real conviction, “starting January 1, there’s a new sheriff in town”, or, “you can do it now, but once the New Year arrives, things are going to be different.” And, a more recent favorite, “get it out of your system now, because once the New Year begins, that ends.” Obviously, those same words in July would carry no meaning, and certainly no recollection by my children. I’m not even sure of the recall value of any of my threats an hour after they are given, but my thought here was if you threaten enough times over the course of a few weeks, then they can’t come as a surprise when they are finally invoked, can they? Since Thanksgiving, I laid the groundwork, over and over and over again. “Sure, you can do it now, but just remember, come January 1, that ends.” I said it so many times through the holiday season, that it became a conditioned response to any of their requests. But all that “genius” aside, it allowed me a month’s “free pass”. A month off from yelling about too much time spent on the game stations, or watching too much television, or not spending enough time doing homework. A month off from reprimanding them for failing to be more organized, or for falling behind with schoolwork. A month off from demanding family hour at the dinner table. They got a month to indulge, because come January 1, things were going to be different…….
…… it’s the “cleaning of the slate”…
Resolution #1 - Sit-down family dinners 3 times a week.
When did we lose the ability to communicate, to share our day with each other? Didn't something happen within the past 12 hours that is worth sharing? Make something up if you have to! Concentrate on “family time” (meaning, everyone at the same table at the same time, with NO television). Just an aside, is it possible that we all eat the same meal? Ok, ok. Forget 3, let’s just go for 1 (every two weeks!). Why set myself up for failure on the first week!
Resolution #2 – 1 hour of homework without “commercial breaks”.
I can already feel my anxiety level rising just mentioning “homework”. I am convinced that “homework” can destroy a family. Homework, in our house, is a lot like a snow storm. We’ve been alerted to its impending occurrence. Sand trucks have been dispatched and even the news has warned drivers to stay off the roads, but when it finally arrives, we’re totally unprepared. When I announce that it’s time for homework, and this is after several warnings, I inevitably get the “deer in the headlights” look. It gets even better when they can’t find the assignment, and then proceed to spend 15 minutes going through their notebook when we all know what a futile exercise that is. I’m not sure if I’m more incensed by their obvious irresponsibility for the loss of their assignment, or just bewildered by the fact that I am being blamed for it. This is a typical homework session and we haven’t even gotten to the real work yet.... A storms a-brewing…
Never in my life have I witnessed such immediate onset of endless hunger, or the frequency in which my kids need to pee, or the rapid development of unjustified body aches as I do when homework time is announced. It’s as if on cue, they become ravenous, irritable, achy, and distracted. That’s just during the first 5 minutes. Did I also mention demanding, obstinate, and challenging? And yet, they’re dumbstruck by the fact that I would choose to be hidden away in any other room than to sit with them. Honestly, I can assure them that I feel their pain (and mine) in every room of the house during homework. I’m more concerned that they may feel mine if we remain in the same room. The only time I can recall them enthusiastic about a homework assignment was when they were given the option to do their spelling words with shaving cream. Only a 24 year old teacher could have conjured up that option. By the time we have responded to every conceivable bodily demand, and, have finally located our assignments, and, have possibly completed some, we have no doubt spent the better part of the afternoon and evening hours.
And to think that I would suggest that they do more than the minimum that the teacher has requested on any particular assignment, is an absolute outrage. When an assignment calls for 2-4 paragraphs or 6-10 sentences or even 3-6 examples, is it so debilitating to do ONE MORE than the minimum? “Mom, there is nooo reason to do more. Why are you making me? If she wanted us to do more, she would have said so” (always with that whiney, nails-on-the blackboard, pain-staking, near tears, pitch in their voice). Where is the EFFORT, people? Where is the DESIRE to excel? I’ll tell you where…. At Game Stop. At Sports Authority. At the card store.
Am I the only one who has to instill upon my kids to actually READ (don’t skim) the ENTIRE assignment AND answer EXACTLY what the problem is asking. If your teacher is asking for 2 examples, then, “NO”, 1 is not enough. If their response requires complete sentence structure, should I need to remind them that they can’t begin the answer with “because”? If nothing else, I can only hope that they at least begin the sentence with a capital letter and end it with a punctuation mark. If the problem requires them to show their work, isn’t it obvious that they need to SHOW THEIR WORK? At least PRETEND to strive for full credit on homework assignments, especially when points matter. And, if nothing else, make sure the writing is legible for the teacher to review. Do they think it’s a skill to be able to bunch up their work in the margins with such miniscule lettering? Don’t they know that the paper has a whole other side? Why do I need to remind them that it’s not enough that they know what they wrote (I’m not even convinced of that), but how do they expect their teachers to determine their understanding if they can’t read what’s written??? And, just to add insult to injury, would it be so terrible to suggest that they complete an assignment before it’s actually do? What in heaven’s name was I thinking??? Is it any wonder that during an entire homework session, I just find myself constantly shaking my head from side to side in utter disbelief.
Please tell me I’m not flying solo. And, speaking of “flying”, is it just my child that believes he’s in a “time trial” when it comes to homework? It’s just not possible to read three chapters of a novel in less than 5 minutes and claim that you comprehend the storyline. I don’t care if it’s triple-spaced with 5 words on each page. Or, claim that in 5 minutes you have studied for your Assessment Exam and understand everything, especially in light of the fact that just yesterday you didn’t understand ANYTHING. Or, how about, “Mom, I just don’t understand how to do the assignment. Can you please just email the teacher?” Oh sure. And tell her what? That my son has determined that if homework can’t be completed within a commercial break, then she has assigned too much. Or, how dare she give homework on a night when Maryland Basketball is playing Duke! Or, that my son was not paying attention in class when the instruction was given.
And is it really asking too much to at least initiate homework with a sharpened pencil that has a “working” eraser? Do they not understand that no matter how hard or how often they attempt to erase a mistake, if the eraser is no longer visible above the metal casing, the paper will eventually tear? Perhaps they didn’t recognize the sequence of events on their first effort, but don’t you think it would occur to them that the same result would take place on any subsequent effort? And truly, at what point in time do you think they realize that if they just took a minute to sharpen the pencil, they wouldn’t have to press down so hard to get to the lead?
And, the meltdowns that soon follow….like clockwork….It’s no wonder my husband chooses to work late.
And, it’s no wonder that I have spent a great deal of time considering a resolution that offers the greatest opportunity of success, or at least one that offers the least chance of resistance. Who am I kidding? There isn't one. My kids offer more resistance than my work-out bands. Short of clicking my heels three times and wishing upon every conceivable star in our solar system, I can only cross my fingers when I institute 1 hour of uninterrupted REAL homework time, whether the workload demands it or not. Sixty consecutive minutes. That’s all I’m asking, with no televisions breaks, no food breaks, no bathroom breaks, NO BREAKS!). Sixty minutes - plenty of time to read the assignment, show the work, and give complete answers. Maybe even a little time left to review their work. I'm pushing it. They even get to choose the hour. They know how much time they can spend on each assignment. They can keep track of how much time is remaining. They can schedule their hour to eliminate any distractions of an upcoming television show, or any worries of a missed event. They can control the mood of homework time. (I'm not quite sure I've thought this through enough.)
By the way, the clock begins ONLY when the homework is located….
Resolution #3 - When resolutions 1 and 2 fail, go back to “exercise more often”. It’s so much easier…..
Comments